Let’s Normalize “Okay”

Any human being: “How are you?”

Every human being: “I’m good! How are you?”

 I have often wondered why we feel required to respond this way.

Most of the time, I’m not “good!” There’s no exclamation point all of the time. Sure, I am okay, content, calm, grateful, or inspired, but we have normalized the need to be “good” when people ask.

I’m going to say something, and I want you to really hear me when I say it:
It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to not be “good.”

In the theme of trying to respond in regular social-norm fashion, you might wonder “So…….what am I supposed to say? That’s awkward.” I encourage my clients, when they report not feeling “good” (when they want to be good), to just “be.” That’s really hard. It could be uncomfortable. It’s something that you may not be used to. I hear that.

Now, what does it mean to just “be?”

Sit. Breathe. Just be with your emotions. Allow yourself to simply be as you are. With no judgement. No expectation to change. No pressure to be better or worse. What would happen if you sat with being as you are? What do we risk happening?

We might rest.

We might feel.

We might experience.

We might be present.

We might love.

We might cry.

We just might. And we might feel peace.

Would people be uncomfortable if we were not “good?” Maybe. However that is not about you, that’s about them. That would show something they may need to process.

You are allowed to be okay. You are allowed to be not okay. You don’t have to be good. You can just be.

Take that risk. Reach out and let me know how it feels.