When it all feels wrong.

You wake up feeling off. The morning routine messes up. Driving to work/school is frustrating - there’s traffic and/or angry people on the road. Someone sends you an irritating email/text.

We all have those days. We get to decide what to do with it.

I have had a few of those days recently. Every single time, it’s an active choice “what do I do about it?”

What do I mean by this?

You have a choice.

Is this my day?

OR

Is this the moment?

My job involves being present for my clients. Whatever is going on outside…it pauses. I will resume it later. This skill has come in handy, so I don’t choose to catastrophize my day.

Catastrophize = to allow a single event/incident (or a handful) to completely sabotage the day/week.

We all have this choice.

Some days it may be important to simply sit with your feelings, feel them, experience the levels of frustration or pain, but other days it’s important to contain these and self-talk through it.

Example:

Situation- I woke up feeling terrible. My significant other is busy and agitated with me. I am hitting every single red light. I need to get to work on time.
Containment- I am going to place these negative thoughts in a container in my mind. I cannot have them follow me through my day. I will pick these thoughts back up around 4:30pm. I will deal with this later. (And yes, we have to come back to these later. Suppressing them is not a healthy option).
Self-talk- My worth is not based on the situations of the day. My day is not based on this morning’s events. I am strong enough to move passed the start of my morning.

-

When we begin to view the day in our control, it tends to shift towards the better. We can only control ourselves, and even as a therapist, I remind myself of this often.

Since we can only control ourselves, start today.

Recognize your patterns. Identify your negative thoughts. Work to shift your day if you find yourself catastrophizing.

And don’t forget to validate yourself.

What does that look like?
“I am allowed to experience these emotions. It’s OK that I feel these feelings.”
How do I add in self-talk?
“I am allowed to experience these emotions. It’s OK that I feel these feelings. Right now, it is not the best time to process. I will come back to these feelings later. I am strong enough to get through this day.”

Then…..schedule that time.

Having trouble? Reach out. We can work on it together.