Validation or Toxicity?

Life cannot seem to stop feeling exhausting sometimes, can it?

When I find myself feeling that way, I validate it.

What validation sounds like:
-Your feelings are absolutely valid.
-You’re right, that does sound exhausting.
-I completely understand why you feel that way.
-You have every right to feel those feelings.
-It’s ok to just sit with how you’re feeling.

What validation does not sound like:
-It’s not that bad; That’s life!
-It’ll get better; It’ll pass.
-You’ve got this.
-It’s fine! Focus on the positive.
-Why don’t you do _____ to feel better/fix it!

Phrases/visuals like this drive me nuts.

I am so tired of toxic positivity. It’s never been validating before, and it definitely is not given the past year all of us have experienced.

I think it very well can work for a certain type of person and a very specific mindset.

Or it can work for someone who is really good at/familiar with pushing their feelings aside.

It’s time to review the people you surround yourself with. Reevaluate your support system or the people you follow on social media. Do you feel heard, understood, and validated?

Sometimes…people just don’t know how to sit with those feelings you’re experiencing. They either are filled with their own burnout (or avoidance), or they cannot figure out how to respond to yours.

This is also why it’s so important to learn how to be this person for yourself. We cannot rely on others to know what to give us, especially if they’re also just trying to survive.

Can’t find anyone who fits into a category of validation? Or not able to identify anyone who helps you feel comforted? Reach out, therapy can be that person you need.

Unsure how to validate yourself? Let’s work on that together.