The Challenge of Feelings

I have clients who come to therapy because they cannot figure out what they are feeling. They explain the overwhelming amount of emotion they experience. The difficulty separating, processing, and/or identifying.

They feel burnt out, lost, or alone in the struggle.

“I cannot handle it anymore.”
”I have no idea what to do.”
”I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

This is one of my favorite areas to explore. This is where it gets good.

Who said that emotions were easy to figure out? I guess this is where my blog post about allowing silence comes into play.

Truth is: most of the time, we do not even give them a chance to be processed.

TOO BUSY. NO TIME.

Or…too busy…because you are scared.

We are human. Humans were biological created to be unpredictable beings. We were given the ability to have different thoughts, emotions, and curiosities occur at the same time. It is a blessing and a curse, I guess.

I tell my clients: You can have an off morning and a great afternoon. You can experience joy and frustration. You can ache for more, while being thankful for what you have.

They understand the idea but have no direction on how to give permission for that to share the room. Or sometimes, again, there is fear for allowing this possibility.

We revisit my earlier topic by exploring the idea of duality.

Who said you are only supposed to feel one emotion at a time? I think that is actually impossible. Cue my other blog post about anger - obviously it is quite a hot topic.

*Also, cue my second time asking “who.” Because the follow up work is exploring who we learned these rules from.

We typically feel conflicted out of protest of experiencing the negative emotions.

Those emotions are not going to go away though, they will just eventually take over the room.

So, what if we lean in a little?

Let’s inch into a comfort zone by experiencing a taste of what is really going on, while also allowing yourself to feel the other.

“I am just going to be with these dual emotions. Just for a little.”

Next, try simple validation. Because, yes, you are allowed to feel both.

Maybe journal the moment. Lean into processing each side. See what might grow. Set a timer. Give yourself permission to move on. Repeat as the comfort of processing the uncomfortable grows.

-

For those of us with children…what if we leaned in to letting our kids allow their emotions to take the up the room for a moment. What if we supported them through it, modeled how to recover, and showed them it does not make them bad or to be judged about?

They might grow up to have the confidence to manage this on their own.
They might grow up without fear of leaning into their emotions.
They might have the bravery of processing the deeper meanings of feelings.
They might be grateful for the space you gave them to learn this with you by their side.

-

Not sure you can do that effectively? Reach out. Let’s work on that together.

Subscribe below to keep up with new posts.