Maybe…don’t share this.
I might be spreading some controversial information here, BUT I will say it anyways:
I don’t understand, nor recommend/like the geo-location sharing feature of today’s society.
This goes for both parent-child relationships and friend-friend (or partner) relationships.
Yes, I have heard the benefits:
It’s so convenient!
I just like knowing where my friends are!
What if there’s an accident?
It helps me trust my teen.
For me, it’s so much more problematic than what those things are worth.
Not only is it problematic that we are wanting to know where everyone else is at - or for everyone else to know where we are at, but also…there’s no space for trust to build.
My concern for phones started long before geo-location sharing became more common.
Not only are we constantly available to other people (leaving less and less space for our own quality time with ourselves), but now we are leaving even less space for life to just happen.
Let’s think about it. You have a disagreement with a friend/partner. You need to process what happened. But…now you’re getting notifications that they are hanging out with your other friend, driving by your work to go somewhere, didn’t actually go home like they said they were going to do, etc.
Now, not only do you not have the space to process your disagreement, but you are also wondering who they are with, what they are doing, and maybe thinking “they must be talking about me.”
Because now there’s evidence they are not at home! And now they’re driving near your work? Now you’re super anxious that they’re close by!
So. Many. Problems. Here.
And let me ask you this…
Why do you really need to know where everyone is all of the time?
Parents…
Scenario for you:
Your teen seems stressed today. You think, “Go de-stress with your friends! Sounds great.”
But now they are driving around instead of staying at that friend’s house. “Why? What are they doing? What kind of de-stressing is included in this ‘hang-out'?”
Do I think it’s completely unnecessary to have any sort of access to your teen’s whereabouts?
No.
But…If you think your teen needs to be monitored at all times, we are already in the middle of another, different type of problem.
Unfortunately, my points for friends, as well as parents, don’t differ much. You are also getting various notifications of their location-change. Your stress level is also being affected, if not more, as this is your child moving about the world. You might be tempted to check constantly, because the option is right there. We haven't always had these abilities to check locations or get notifications of location changes.
And interestingly enough…teens/parents were totally fine, right?
Let's make some room to begin trusting and allowing our teens to make decisions that they can learn from. Let's work on building a level of trust with our friends and family members simply because that's how relationships work.
From an evidenced-based standpoint, I am not the only one concerned. There have been numerous articles written and research conducted to investigate the negative effects of increased phone usage in special regard to Push Notifications. Geo-Location sharing apps are included within this.
Martin Pielot and Luz Rello (2017) conducted research that showed these ongoing, various notifications negatively impact productivity and increase distraction (which I think we can all agree there).
The more concerning portion of the results, in my opinion, reported that people felt anxious without having immediate access to information, or were left feeling like they were disappointing those who they weren’t responding to.
When did we get to this part in life that we felt an automatic responsibility to be there for others instead of prioritizing ourselves? Woof.
If you join me in session, we will talk about how to reprioritize yourself.
Because you are worth it to have more peace.
Reach out, I would be honored to support you in that journey. Parents, reach out and we can discuss how your situation might be different than what I’m describing.
References:
Martin Pielot and Luz Rello. 2017. Productive, Anxious, Lonely - 24 Hours Without Push Notifications. In Proceedings of MobileHCI ’17, Vienna, Austria, September 04-07, 2017, 11 pages. https://doi.org/10.1145/3098279.3098526
