Why does therapy take awhile?

“I just need help processing this one thing.”

Often times, client’s seek support to identify solutions or to help process one specific area in their life. Sometimes they seek therapy to work on long-standing depression or anxiety, seeking a resolution for the problematic symptom(s) or to process the emotions in hopes to reduce the heavy weight of how they feel.

The thing is…when we start opening up wounds, we sometimes find other areas that could be contributing to this presenting problem/concern.

I will tell my new clients “This could be 90 days, could be a few months, could be a year. Whatever you need.” I also usually will add: “It could get worse before it gets better.”

The reason for this conversation during the first session is simple: we can’t put a time frame on healing.

“A few sessions maybe.”
”Maybe we can just see how it goes after a few appointments.”
”I just need one appointment every now and then.”

Therapists respect that mindset, and it also is not commonly encouraged.

But…why?

We want to exercise those vulnerability muscles.
Get used to feeling and processing.
Create new habits and different ways of thinking/feeling.
Learn to allow ourselves consistent space to make progress.
Have a consistent outlet to work on problematic behaviors/patterns.
Access a trusted outlet for support.
This list could go on…

So…basically what you’re saying is…progress could take a while…?

Precisely yes. We do not know how our bodies are going to respond to the progress. We have been used to the same thoughts, feelings, behaviors/actions for so long…it might feel scary to start changing them. We might experience a fear response or start to decline once we begin the progress.

Consider thinking about health/fitness progress: Do those folks experience slumps of motivation? Difficulty changing habits/patterns? The body responding or not responding to efforts to change? Absolutely.

To my young adult or adult clients…be patient with yourselves. This is new, scary/exciting, and you’re on the cusp to change.

To the parents of my teens…please be patient, too. This is a whole new world that they are also finding comfort in. Often times, they’re under a microscope and the change could take longer due to the added pressure to stay the same…or on the contrary…the added pressure to change too quickly.

Reach out, let’s begin that process together.