Multi-Emotional Moments

One topic that has been coming up often in therapy and seems to be something that isn’t talked about enough, is the idea of experiencing dual emotions.

Dual emotions can be described as it sounds: experiencing multiple emotions at the same time. We know it happens a lot, yet we have a hard time validating it. But why?

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It is my observation that people come to therapy many times to really understand and figure out their emotions, feelings, thoughts, behaviors, etc.

However, an area that is subtly worked on and addressed, under the surface, is actually validating the emotions/feelings you already have.

Let me explain…

Picture this:

You are in a conversation with someone close to you. You may have an issue or concern with something that is going on. You have strong feelings behind it. Your feelings are confusing, but you know they are there.

The person you are communicating with is simply trying to change your feelings or fix the issue.

It feels crappy.

Why?

Well… first, you probably do not know exactly how you are feeling. You, and possibly the other person, may not understand the needs that you have. You are potentially feeling invalidated. So, what is recommended first?

Always, validation. We need to do that for others, as well as with ourselves.

*It is completely valid and understandable that you may be feeling both frustrated and sad - at the same time. It is totally normal that you may feel excited and scared - at the same time. It is okay that you are feeling the need to be heard and the need to want space - at the same time.

Once we discover the many angles of how we are feeling, we can communicate with others (and communicate what we need) that much easier (or better). Until you really start understanding yourself, you may find yourself in continuous cycles of conflict.

Another example…

I have experienced a few different incidents that have felt highly impacting to my life.

For people in similar circumstances, they may feel conflicted on what exactly they are experiencing emotionally. That is totally normal.

As a result of that, people do not know exactly how to support you in the way that you need.

It feels frustrating.

Why?

Well…there is a chance that while those people do not know how you are feeling, you probably do not know either. Let alone, know how to express it to those around you.

Again, validation first and foremost.

*It is completely valid and understandable that you feel heartbroken and enraged - at the same time. It is totally normal that you feel the need for comfort and preferring isolation - at the same time. It is okay that you are feeling grief and relief - at the same time.

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The idea of emotional duality is something that deserves more attention. Once we identify all of the levels of our emotions, we can start processing what each one means, where it belongs or where it originated. Then, we will know how to ask for help and support. People around us can stop guessing, and we can start to feel more confident and secure in the emotions that we experience.

It’s worth it. I promise.

Reach out, let’s dive in.